(via shouldnt)

1 day ago 373,685 notes

childservices:

"Ima need ur license and registration……and ur kik"

(via asvprock)

1 day ago 312,823 notes

damn-you-steven-moffat:

if you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple

(via burgerkid)

1 day ago 457,791 notes

officialunitedstates:

"What does the chef recommend?"

"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"

(via unpopuler)

1 day ago 313,811 notes

"I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens."

- Woody Allen (via kushandwizdom)

1 day ago 966 notes

lolcomical:

twitturds:

walk into the club like wait nevermind can we go home

 

(via telapathetic)

1 day ago 555,452 notes

chasingtrophywhitetails:

Does anyone else reply to a text mentally but not physically then forgets to actually reply all together or is that just me

(via lmaoalien)

1 day ago 259,117 notes

thebreadgod:

Finding a typo in a book

image

(via asvprock)

1 day ago 307,883 notes

bullied:

90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.

(via telapathetic)

1 day ago 495,153 notes

eludible:

Mosquitos are so rude, like who gave you permission to bite my ass?

(via shouldnt)

1 day ago 58,420 notes