fandango:

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is so fetch. See it in theaters now.

7 hours ago 24 notes

Me being a parent

Kid: I HATE YOU I WISH I WERE NEVER BORN
Me: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now
7 hours ago 51 notes

retiredjesus:

baracknobama:

when my mum tells me to put on a jacket

image

it looks like she has a british accent

1 day ago 14,659 notes

(via sinfully-wrong)

1 day ago 75,667 notes

merylstreeptease:

i bet dermatologists hate him

(via coluring)

1 day ago 62,327 notes

slytheringsnake:

my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”

and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered

"Maybe i need to use the sleep"

(via retiredjesus)

1 day ago 629,694 notes
22nd
July
58,752 notes
Reblog
nuditea:

strong contender for the worst sentence i’ve ever read

nuditea:

strong contender for the worst sentence i’ve ever read

(via coluring)

1 day ago 58,752 notes

(via definitive)

1 day ago 1,504 notes

(via coluring)

1 day ago 39,093 notes

teenscoolest:

the most irritating moments of my life is morning alarm

(via asvprock)

1 day ago 28,187 notes